three times what?

5 Jan

happily ever after

today i felt more like “three times what?” than like threetimesyes.

i don’t want to go into the reasons and details for that, but what’s been going on in my life led me to an interesting question:

what happened to ‘happily ever after’? 

and to be quite clear about that, i mean nothing but the romantic ‘happily ever after’.

do we have to accept that maybe the happily ever after that we all dream of, or at least most of us, is a threatened species? or even worse did it already become extinct while we were busy instagramming, tweeting, talking to a friend over a coffee about which shoes to buy next or lying on the sofa of our psychotherapist?

i’m afraid that this might be the truth. the poor ‘happily aver after’ already died out. it might have yelled for help a few times but nobody listened because we were all too busy. no! i don’t want to believe that! i just don’t. but from all i see around me and even the things that happen to me, i just have to make this guess.

or maybe it just means that we have to give a new definition to ‘happily ever after’?

should we rename it into ‘happily ever now‘?

following the living in the moment movement and take what we can get in the here and now, soak it up, consume it without caring about what’s next? well, that’s a modern way to look at it. and there’s nothing wrong about the here and the now. but there’s nothing wrong about commitment either. and responsibility. that’s why i choose to put myself out there and believe in the happily ever after. here. now. and always.

and what about you? ‘happily ever after’ or ‘happily ever now’? tell me.

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17 Responses to “three times what?”

  1. hellomissnana 2013/01/05 at 6:37 pm #

    … everything happens fast and porcupined with social media… that´s correct….but i believe in love, and never ending stories, and hope never dies…i don´t believe in white horses, but in ugly frogs who turn into shining princes…and stepmonsters with hearts in the end… so i guess i am an old school kind a girl..

    • juliastoepel 2013/01/05 at 6:59 pm #

      ich weiß nicht, was ‘porcupined’ heisst, but i am very happy that i can count you into team happily ever after as well. how about shining princes that turn into ugly frogs? can they turn back into princes?? love you ❤

      • hellomissnana 2013/01/05 at 7:02 pm #

        if the kiss ist wet enough for sure…. porcupined heisst gespickt, das fand ich passend, weil ich das schwein mit apfel in der schnauze vor mir gesehen hab. love you more!!!

  2. juliastoepel 2013/01/05 at 7:04 pm #

    haha! wieder was gelernt. danke. und heute akzeptiere ich ausnahmsweise mal dein ‘love you more’. aber NUR heute.

  3. corinna 2013/01/05 at 7:09 pm #

    happily ever after”! that’s minutely what i’m feeling, thinking and questioning right now, in this moment, in this second. thank you very much for sharing these thoughts. bisoux, c.

    • juliastoepel 2013/01/05 at 7:11 pm #

      thank you very much for answering, corinna! and for giving me hope. love*

  4. hédi 2013/01/05 at 8:57 pm #

    Ein schöner Beitrag, liebe Julia! Es muss sie doch geben, die grosse Liebe und das “happily ever after”! Trotz dem, dass es heutzutage vlt. wirklich mehr Frösche als Prinzen gibt … Doch es gibt sie auch, diese Prinzen – Geduld, Offenheit … Ich küsse dich!

    • juliastoepel 2013/01/05 at 9:01 pm #

      danke, liebe hédi. ich bleibe weiterhin hoffnungsvoll, auch wenn es manchmal nicht leichtfällt. eine besonders feste umarmung zurück* und vielen dank für dein feedback :-*

  5. Maggie 2013/01/06 at 1:37 pm #

    Auch ich glaube an “happily ever after”, auch wenn es heute vielleicht etwas anderes bedeutet als wir es von früher kennen. Dieses “happily ever after” war vielleicht nicht immer bis zum Ende happy, wer weiß das schon?! Aber die Hoffnung sollte wirklich zuletzt sterben und bis zum “happily ever after” sollten wir zumindest ein “happily ever now” anstreben. Und dann klappt es auch mit dem Prinzen!

    Und vielleicht sollten wir uns auch mal die Gegenseite anschauen: Sind wir immer die Prinzessinnen, die zu erobern gilt? 😉

    Fühl Dich gedrückt!

    • juliastoepel 2013/01/06 at 5:40 pm #

      liebe maggie, es ist so toll, wie ihr hier alle pro- happily ever after mitdiskutiert. auch finde ich den gesichtspunkt sehr interessant, den du einbringst, dass es vielleicht gar nicht immer bis ans ende happy war, das “alte” happily ever after.
      und über den letzten punkt muss ich definitv nochmal nachdenken 🙂
      ich herze dich* julia

      • Maggie 2013/01/07 at 3:42 pm #

        Liebe Julia,
        ich hoffe Du missverstehst (was’n Wort) meinen letzten Punkt nicht, denn er sollte nicht persönlich ankommen.
        Ich meine damit einfach, dass auch die Prinzen und Frösche dieser Welt gewisse Vorstellungen von ihren Prinzessinnen haben. Wer weiß ob wir diesen immer so entsprechen?! 😉

        Darum ist es vllt manchmal besser, nicht nur nach dem “Happily ever after” zu streben; bzw auf dem Weg dahin die “happily ever nows” nicht zu übersehen und links liegen zu lassen.
        Denn sind wir mal ehrlich: Wenn alles perfekt ist, dann isses doch irgendwann auch zu langweilig. 😉

  6. juliastoepel 2013/01/07 at 10:56 pm #

    ach, maggie, ich weiß doch, wie du das gemeint hast… keine sorge 🙂 ich hab das nicht persönlich genommen und ich sehe es ganz genauso wie du.
    ich strebe auch gar kein ‘perfekt’ an oder einen perfekten zustand… aber beständigkeit fände ich schon erstrebenswert. ohne damit stillstand zu meinen, aber eine beständigkeit, in der es raum gibt zu wachsen…. ohne gleich zu fliehen. ob man nun frosch ist, prinz, prinzessin oder einfach postbeamter, bäcker oder synchronsprecherin 🙂
    ich umarm dich*

  7. Dean Whitbread 2013/01/09 at 10:55 am #

    This is an eternal question. Love as a myth versus the practical reality of life. I am with you on the importance of now. Dreams are chimera unless we live them, in the now.

    I wrote about it http://theothersideofeverything.com/flip/2006/08/skip-to-my-lou-2/ and included the story of surprising the postman in the bath, which explained real self to my previous self. So I guess the real question is, how do we evolve and yet remain true to our romantic nature?

    • juliastoepel 2013/01/09 at 1:29 pm #

      dear dean* (first of all… you are the first man to stand up here and respond to this question. thank you so much for that)
      you are so right. there is no black and white… so many shades and possibilities in between. and we are constantly evolving and everything changes and develops all the time.
      there is days though where i find it hard to focus my wandering mind on the here and now when it comes down to relationships and the question what do i really aspire for my life.

      and now i will check out the link you sent me.

      love x

  8. notausgang 2013/01/24 at 10:01 pm #

    I believe in love and that “happily ever after” is hard work, which is kind of confirmed by my own experience in a very long relationship (prior to which my relationships never have outlasted 6 months!!!). it’s hard work and nobody teaches you that… some find out by luck, by trial-and-error. in fact, our society of loners and boasted egos makes it even harder to truly commit to another human being.

    • julia 2013/01/24 at 10:50 pm #

      i absolutely agree. it is hard work and this automatically leads me to the question if maybe the ability and will to actually commit to something and the will to work for something are maybe not as strong anymore as they used to be??
      there’s such a huge buffet to choose from, so what’s the point in taking hurdles?
      nevertheless: i will never stop believing in ‘happily ever after’ and that it’s possible.
      xxx julia

      • notausgang 2013/03/19 at 12:06 am #

        gaaah! wordpress ATE your reply and your following post :/

        hey, we’ve started to dich fast fashion, maybe there’s hope we’ll learn to ditch fast relationships? 🙂 always look at the bright side, you know… I also believe that if you meet a soulmate, both of you want to work it out.
        also the fear of loss sometimes stands in the way. some people are so afraid to lose their partner that they provoke a break-up in order to leave the pain behind. people are fascinating.
        *said the alien* 😉

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