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will we ever be satisfied?

18 Jan

which ones??

another pair of shoes. another glass of margarita. just one more kiss. on to the next lover. on to the next tweet. another night at the club. what are you looking for? one more bar of chocolate. just one. shall i call him? didn’t i buy a bottle of vodka? another wellness weekend. i need it. another butterfly in my stomach. i want it. another photo for my instagram. i just have to share it. i have to check facebook. on to the next meeting. on to the next chit-chat. another one to make love with. another one to break up with.

will we ever be satisfied?

when?

today i went shopping for the first time in over two months. and with this act of vain ego hugging, one question led to another. it’s not a case of do i need this or that. we can skip that immediately. i do not need two more pairs of jeans (which i bought at one of my favorite stores all saints spitalfields and they are adorable, this i can tell you). i do not need another skirt (it’s a midnight blue pliss√© skirt and it’s amazingly beautiful. HAD to buy it). i do not need another grey t-shirt (well, yeah, bought it). and i don’t need another fancy bracelet (bought it cause it’s really hot).

don’t get me wrong. there’s no regrets. and no cynisism here. i am just wondering.

although my past months were a bit of an adventurous rollercoaster ride, i really felt in tune with myself. happy with my job, my friends, my environment. i purposely didn’t go shopping because i wanted to see how far i can go without. and for the ones who don’t know me: believe me i AM a shopping girl. always have been. but it felt right not to. then i went to NYC and what did i do: anything but shopping. well, except for some stuff i brought my friends. that doesn’t count, does it? i did not avoid to do so. i even walked to some really beautiful stores, looked at the things, saw pretty pretty things and though: ‘nah, i don’t feel it.’

but now i felt it again. and i gave in to the craving.

so, here’s the eternal question again… it’s been asked a gazillion times but i can’t help but wonder what makes us perfectly happy? what is it that puts us in perfect tune with the universe?

and how much do we have to do to achieve it?

or does it just ‘happen’ effortless?

i’m not only talking about the longings to own some new stuff. i’m also talking about the seventh margarita or the fourty fifth lover.

will we ever stop looking?

will we ever stop longing?

will we ever stop wondering?

will we ever be satisfied?

don’t worry, my sweethearts, i won’t be joining a buddhist monestary or sign in for an ashram in india. i love margaritas too much! ūüėČ

love xxx

SLEEP IS FOR PUSSIES.

17 Jan

yes. so that was my motto for the past days.

it’s fashion week in berlin, in case you are not aware of that.

and my wonderful, amazing gal nina¬†@mamzellev¬†was in town to make the¬†(capsule)¬†happen in postbahnhof with¬†blacklodges. so when she called out for me to work there like i already did last summer, i couldn’t say anything but yes. an oppurtunity to be around her, to get out of the studio, to get back together with some great people i hadn’t seen in a while and to meet some new ones, to observe this fascinating, weird, beloved fashion crowd. and to party! and that’s what i did. oh, i partied. sweden showed me how to slam my glasses and bottles on the table properly before drinking, france played the right tunes to shake my hips till dawn, the netherlands proved that they are good at surprises.

after my letting go issues that was the right thing to do.

well, two hours of sleep weren’t that much, but whatever. i have¬†YSL beautysleep¬†in my beauty bag. since this discovery i’m like: who needs sleep anyways. (the secret is to put it on in the morning!! not as they say before you sleep… how could you if you don’t. ha!).

so after 8 hours of (capsule) again yesterday, i had a quick hop into the studio again to do my ‘normal’ job.

later that evening the ones that were still standing went for dinner at zsa zsa burger in berlin schöneberg. a recommendation by wonderful food blogger paul fritze.

after that just a few more drinks at stagger lee. the bestestest bar in this city, if you ask me.

and that was it for me. thanks for these great days, my love nina. but also tack, sweden! merci, france! thanks, great britain! danke je well, nederlands!

I NEEDED THIS ‚̧

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capsule day one required some colors on my skirt.

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where the magic happened. postbahnhof.

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hello teamgloria! berlin adores a chandelier, too!

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while i was waiting for my coffee, some lights were shining. reminded me of NYC.

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denim demon taught me to slam it.

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no words needed.  #love

snow and sun and snow. melt my heart. (time to let go)

14 Jan

snow. and sun. and snow. and cotton wool greyness. and snow again. oh, and it’s cold. berlin is freezing. and as the skies change their colors and as the snowflakes come sailing and gliding and dancing down towards my stuck out tongue, my heart feels heavy. the lesson of letting go is obviously on the plan for me now and i am willing to accept it, ¬†take it and embrace it. i’m not saying that it’s easy though.

meanwhile i read a lot. kahlil gibran and rumi are my masters these days.

some of them say, ‘joy is greater than sorrow’, and others say, ‘nay, sorrow is the greater.’ but i say unto you, they are inseperable. together they come, and when one sits alone at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. ¬†~¬†“the prophet” by kahlil gibran.

ain’t that fabulous? it’s like yoga for my brain. and it feels good and makes me happy.

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and i listen to groovy stuff. fitz and the tantrums. soooo good.

and i have a hell lot of work which is good too. fluttering from studio to studio talking into different mics telling different stories that haven’t anything to do with my life. always good to dive in there. and now it’s fashion week and tuesday and wednesday i will be joining the fabulous crew of (capsule)¬†again and work there and have my share of the beloved fashion crowd and meet some long time no see! friends from all over the world. i will keep you posted on that.

and also i look at the sky and the movement of the clouds and the stars, and even though the air is crispy cold this puts a smile on my face too.

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so i leave you with these slightly melancholic words. but don’t worry. i’m on my way. or as my amazing friend nina would say: “it’s all happening!”

stay warm, my berlin friends. and all you others, stay true.

love xxx

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