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will we ever be satisfied?

18 Jan

which ones??

another pair of shoes. another glass of margarita. just one more kiss. on to the next lover. on to the next tweet. another night at the club. what are you looking for? one more bar of chocolate. just one. shall i call him? didn’t i buy a bottle of vodka? another wellness weekend. i need it. another butterfly in my stomach. i want it. another photo for my instagram. i just have to share it. i have to check facebook. on to the next meeting. on to the next chit-chat. another one to make love with. another one to break up with.

will we ever be satisfied?

when?

today i went shopping for the first time in over two months. and with this act of vain ego hugging, one question led to another. it’s not a case of do i need this or that. we can skip that immediately. i do not need two more pairs of jeans (which i bought at one of my favorite stores all saints spitalfields and they are adorable, this i can tell you). i do not need another skirt (it’s a midnight blue plissé skirt and it’s amazingly beautiful. HAD to buy it). i do not need another grey t-shirt (well, yeah, bought it). and i don’t need another fancy bracelet (bought it cause it’s really hot).

don’t get me wrong. there’s no regrets. and no cynisism here. i am just wondering.

although my past months were a bit of an adventurous rollercoaster ride, i really felt in tune with myself. happy with my job, my friends, my environment. i purposely didn’t go shopping because i wanted to see how far i can go without. and for the ones who don’t know me: believe me i AM a shopping girl. always have been. but it felt right not to. then i went to NYC and what did i do: anything but shopping. well, except for some stuff i brought my friends. that doesn’t count, does it? i did not avoid to do so. i even walked to some really beautiful stores, looked at the things, saw pretty pretty things and though: ‘nah, i don’t feel it.’

but now i felt it again. and i gave in to the craving.

so, here’s the eternal question again… it’s been asked a gazillion times but i can’t help but wonder what makes us perfectly happy? what is it that puts us in perfect tune with the universe?

and how much do we have to do to achieve it?

or does it just ‘happen’ effortless?

i’m not only talking about the longings to own some new stuff. i’m also talking about the seventh margarita or the fourty fifth lover.

will we ever stop looking?

will we ever stop longing?

will we ever stop wondering?

will we ever be satisfied?

don’t worry, my sweethearts, i won’t be joining a buddhist monestary or sign in for an ashram in india. i love margaritas too much! 😉

love xxx

three times what?

5 Jan

happily ever after

today i felt more like “three times what?” than like threetimesyes.

i don’t want to go into the reasons and details for that, but what’s been going on in my life led me to an interesting question:

what happened to ‘happily ever after’? 

and to be quite clear about that, i mean nothing but the romantic ‘happily ever after’.

do we have to accept that maybe the happily ever after that we all dream of, or at least most of us, is a threatened species? or even worse did it already become extinct while we were busy instagramming, tweeting, talking to a friend over a coffee about which shoes to buy next or lying on the sofa of our psychotherapist?

i’m afraid that this might be the truth. the poor ‘happily aver after’ already died out. it might have yelled for help a few times but nobody listened because we were all too busy. no! i don’t want to believe that! i just don’t. but from all i see around me and even the things that happen to me, i just have to make this guess.

or maybe it just means that we have to give a new definition to ‘happily ever after’?

should we rename it into ‘happily ever now‘?

following the living in the moment movement and take what we can get in the here and now, soak it up, consume it without caring about what’s next? well, that’s a modern way to look at it. and there’s nothing wrong about the here and the now. but there’s nothing wrong about commitment either. and responsibility. that’s why i choose to put myself out there and believe in the happily ever after. here. now. and always.

and what about you? ‘happily ever after’ or ‘happily ever now’? tell me.

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